The Miracle of Self-Love…“How May I Serve You?”Asked the Heart to the Inner Child.
How many times in our lives have we been asked: “How may I serve you?” With the intent to say, or do, whatever is necessary to make us feel more loved and cherished. Probably never!
If that’s the case, then it is time to hand the task over to the metaphysical Heart, the only dimension within our multidimensional system capable of guiding us lovingly without judgment, in a journey of self-parenting which over time, matures into self-love and respect; because only the Master Within is able to placate the “inner child” that demands the reassurance that they are loved and accepted whatever they do.
Self-love is often misunderstood. It is not an ego centered or selfish gesture of spoiling ourselves with food, sex, superficial amusements etc…all of which are distractions and strategies that tempt us to partake in anything other than encountering our authentic self and our true needs; and besides, even if we are aware of what Self-love really is, it is difficult to accomplish. So how can we attain this quality with a practical and easy method available to everybody?
To simplify matters-Self-love means literally falling in love with ourselves!
As we are all aware, falling in love requires following two simple steps: an initial encounter and an active, continuous dialogue between both parties; because dreaming, desiring or contemplating love, is simply not enough!
Let’s face it, we always desire the very best for those we love. Our natural impulse is to help resolve and relieve any pain and stress our loved ones may be experiencing, but when it boils down to self-love, we may not be so generous with ourselves! What we lovingly offer to others we must give to ourselves—equal proportions of kindness, understanding, and patience. Any method of personal growth is a gesture of self-love simply because we are trustingly and responsabily working toward resolving and relieving emotional discomfort and pain, which is an essential part of self-healing and is achieved through the non-judgmental Heart.
As many of us know, there is nothing complicated about encountering the metaphysical Heart center. However, what is challenging is remaining in “present mode.”
Being present in the Heart requires observing and being aware of the physical body while consciously breathing. This brings more space and awareness to the authentic needs and “feelings” resonating as disturbed energy within the system. Remaining “present” in the here and now with the body means giving less attention to the mind’s wanderings and identifications with its numerous prejudices, concepts, and ideas concerning life and how we, or others, should be living it!
The object of this state of relaxation and presence in the moment is to obtain the mind’s undivided attention while we become familiar with the metaphysical Heart center located in the center of the chest. This exercise can be practiced by anyone. It is easy and can be done before going to sleep, in the morning upon awakening, or whenever the need arises.
Step One–Present Mode*
- If you want to (but this is not necessary), play a recording of some relaxing nature sounds or music without words, or follow a prerecorded meditation. Find a comfortable position, either sitting or lying down, and close your eyes. Place both hands, one on top of the other, in the center of the chest
- Now breathe deeply in a relaxed, circular manner without suspending the breath, observing the breath going gently in and out, and the slight pause between each inhalation and expiration.
- Allow this deep gentle breathing to continue while you maintain your attention on the breath and keep your hands lightly placed on the Heart center. If you notice your mind wandering, quietly bring it back, and slightly move your hands, bringing a sensation and your attention once more to the body.
- Once you are able to keep your mind focused on the breath, you can experiment by moving your attention to different parts of the body, noticing any muscle tension, itching, drowsiness, or other sensation.
- As you focus on your hands resting on your Heart center, you may start to feel delicate movements arising from the space of the heart. The invitation is to allow, without judgment, expectation, or tension, any feelings that surface. You are not seeking any particular feeling. The simple experience of the hands being heavy, warm, or cool on the chest is sufficient to start with.
- Whatever you experience—muscle tension, nervousness, irritation, temperature change, even falling asleep—is perfect. There are no rights or wrongs. The aim is to notice any feelings that arise.
- We are used to ignoring the body and mentally projecting away from it, so it is normal to feel uncomfortable at first. All sensations, whether they are relaxed or not, will bring more awareness to the body, which is the first step toward encountering the metaphysical Heart. A sense of irritation or falling asleep does not mean we are incapable of meeting the Heart; the reaction is simply communicating our restlessness and impatience. Acknowledge whatever arises without judgment and continue the exercise.
For most people, step one demonstrates, without doubt, that, although human consciousness is ever present, conscious awareness is not.
The dualistic nature of the mind is geared to automatically wander off, identifying, associating, remembering, desiring, and projecting memories. That is unawareness. Simply by observing how the mind tends to stray, unable to perform a simple task like concentrating on the breath for a few minutes without falling asleep, fidgeting, or projecting the mind away from the physical body is enough to convince anyone of the disastrous effects the mind’s obliviousness creates during emotional turmoil. As a result, it is advisable to continue with step one until you are reasonably able to remain comfortably relaxed in “present mode” together with the breath and body.
Step Two—Embracing Whatever Arises Without Judgment
For maximum results, it is advisable to follow step two in the company of someone who is not emotionally involved—a professional health practitioner or a holistic operator—because surface emotions are easily triggered, and some very old emotional memories can be profound and energetically highly charged. During step two, the object is to create a line of communication.
Painful or uncomfortable memories reproduce sensations and reactions in the body such as tightness, heat, cold, nausea, fluttering, trembling, contraction, apnea, prickling, and so forth. All of these are unexpressed energies trapped within the energy field. It is not essential to understand the original source. What counts is to give sufficient recognition to the feeling’s presence, noticing and acknowledging any emotional discomfort.
As if it is a child, bring it into the space of the Heart to be healed. While the process unfolds, the focus remains on the following:
- Commence always with step one until you are sufficiently able to remain in “present mode” with the body. Now individualize the emotion or uncomfortable sensation through remembering the source of discomfort the last time you experienced it; for example, visualize the event when the emotion last surfaced.
- Try to recreate the image in an “action replay” of the situation in which the emotion was experienced: Where were you? What were you doing? Who was with you? Allow yourself to feel the emotion vibrate in the body as you remember.
- When you have pinpointed the physical sensation, remember to keep breathing deeply and regularly, staying with the body. If possible, place your hands on the location associated with the feeling and allow the feeling to express without judgment. Observe the energy as you continue breathing, and just allow it space.
- If possible, let the energy communicate. You may see images or colors. How does the energy appear? Sounds may also be present in words or phrases. What do you hear? You may hear the voice of a child crying, “I feel frightened!” How does it feel? Is it hot, cold? Does it tremble? Allow yourself to see, hear, and experience all visions, sounds, and feelings.
Important: Remember to stay with the body and breathe!
- If nothing happens other than an uncomfortable feeling of tension or vibration in a specific location in the body due to remembering the incident that is equally valid. Acknowledge whatever arises and allow it space without judgment. Repeat “I see you, I hear you, I feel you.” Ask the question: “What can I do, or say, to make you feel more loved and cherished?” Wait for a reply, image or feeling.
- If emotions become intense, continue to breathe deeply and remain aware and present to the feelings at all times. Repeat out loud the name of the emotion; for example: “Dear energy of fear, I see you, I hear you, I feel you, and I accept you”. Ask the question: “What can I do, or say, to make you feel more loved and cherished?” Wait for a reply, image or feeling.
- Imagine embracing the feeling as if it were a small child. Allow the hands that are touching the sensation to scoop up the energy and transport it toward the heart center, as if you are handing over the painful feeling to the heart. Repeat out loud: “Dear energy of fear, I acknowledge you. I see you, I hear you, I feel you, I accept you.” In the case of non-acceptance, you might say, “I accept that I cannot accept you.” Ask the question: “What can I do, or say, to make you feel more loved and cherished?” Wait for a reply, image or feeling.
- While the process unfolds, remember always to breathe and stay with the body while honestly acknowledging and admitting personal feelings, however uncomfortable, without judgment.
Putting Space Around What Hurts
The task of the metaphysical Heart is not to magically eliminate discomfort or pain, but to form more space around it. Imagine a tiny basket packed with apples. The larger the basket becomes—expansion of the heart—the more space forms around and between each apple—painful emotion. This prevents friction and bruising through contact, finally letting go of or surrendering emotional blocks and internal conflicts in order to return to a state of balance. Our challenge is to recognize the futility of the mind’s attachment to the past, recognizing the various strategies it applies in order to hold on to rather than let go of deep-rooted emotions.*
Coming of Age
“How may I serve you?” Asked with the intent to say, or do, whatever is necessary to make us feel more loved and cherished, is a simple but very powerful question, because our inner child needs the reassurance that someone sees them, listens to them and feels their pain. Maybe that was not the case when we were small children, but now as mature adults, it is our responsability to parent our inner child. The concentrated power of love from the Heart transmutes our pain into space, finally convincing the inner child to stop crying and stamping its feet. Finally liberated from the past we are free to mature emotionally and grow.
The heart is our saving grace. In a dimension in which time desists, every single beat of the heart brings us once again into the ever present, into the here and now, with what is, as it is, and how it is. This liberates us finally from the past and the need to prove we are worthy of love and acceptance.
Now free to experiment with a life dedicated, as the Buddha would say, to just doing our best as truthfully as one knows how, we now accept that, at times, our best will not be the best, but that’s okay. Although the mind may try to criticize our efforts, the Heart, incapable of any form of judgment, will simply acknowledge and embrace, without desiring to change, what simply is, replying, “That’s okay. Just do your best. I love you just the way you are!”
Caroline Mary Moore
*Passage taken from the book ” The Holistic Approach To Redefining Cancer”.